I know...I haven't been around for quite a while. Lots going on lately and if you visit my other blog, you'll read about what I've been up to. (Mainly illnesses!) I'm just starting to get back to the blogosphere with my own posts and reading others' blogs.
I just saw the April giveaway over at Butterfly Mommies. Kristie V. I am still alive! I thought I'd enter even though I haven't posted anything lately. I do have some things that have occurred recently that I'd like to write about.
Butterfly Mommies is asking, "What forms of support helped you the most during your time of loss and even now? How would you recommend other people support grieving mothers?" My answer is simple. Acknowledge the loss. Even if it was a first trimester miscarriage as mine was. The pain is still as real for the parents even if they never got to see their baby. I don't even know if our baby was a boy or a girl. It still hurts. I found myself battling tears just this week, and it has been a year and a half since our loss.
One of our friends sent us flowers when I miscarried. My coworker and good friend brought me homemade chocolate chip cookies on my due date. Just acknowledge the life that was lost. And if the parents mention the baby in conversation years down the road, don't brush the topic under the rug. That is their child even if the pregnancy lasted only a few weeks. He or she just lives in Heaven now rather than here on earth.
Well, that's my answer. I look forward to visiting your blogs to see how you all answered this question. Blessings!
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you are so right!!!!! i've had 3 miscarriages and though i never officially knew if they were boys or girls, i went with my gut and gave them names. i love them all, i celebrate (even if only in my heart) their birthdates into heaven each year.
ReplyDeleteand you know what? my first baby that went home too soon, went home 10 years ago! he is still as much a part of my heart as he was that day.
it is so sad that people don't recognize the hurt.
Leslie! So good to see you posting again. I check your other blog out from time to time. I didn't realize you had been sick though! Makes me think it's been alot longer than I thought! I have been crazy busy, but I'm so glad to know you are feeling better. Thank you so much for entering the contest. So many women say the same thing. Just don't forget my child was my child. I agree with the whole 'sweep it under the rug' thing too. As if avoiding her name or the subject is going to make it any better. That makes me think they just don't care when they do that!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to tell you we do these on the first of every month. So keep in touch when you can!