YouTube Video: Hug Him Once for Me

Cheryl over at We Are Nine shared this video on her blog, and I just had to share it with you all. Thank you Cheryl. Unfortunately, this video speaks to way too many of us. Although, like the writer of this song, we are comforted in knowing that our little angels are with Jesus.

Dream Come True

I just read my last post for the first time since writing it. The first paragraph is both haunting and wondrous to me at the same time. Since writing that post, a true miracle has occurred in my life.

Daniel Finn

What Makes a Mother

Baby Names

While we were in the Outer Banks over Thanksgiving, I had the chance to walk the beach alone and spend some time in prayer. I was specifically talking to God about our baby. I asked Him to take care of our little one and to guide me in helping others who have experienced this kind of loss.

Along the way, I picked up a stick and wrote the names Claren and Nolan in the sand. Since I miscarried at 8 weeks, I don't know if our baby was a boy or a girl. Claren is the name we picked out for a little girl the first time I was pregnant. The name is in memory of Eric's favorite grandfather, Clarence. Since we have two sons, we never got to use this name. When we told our sons that I was pregnant, we asked them to come up with a boy's name because we didn't have any in mind. They came up with Nolan. Eric and I really liked it.

I think our sons wanted a little brother, but I just have the feeling our baby was a girl. I always thought we'd have two sons close in age and then a daughter a few years down the road. Our boys are 2 1/2 years apart. They would have been 14 and 11 1/2 when the baby was born. (That's a little more "down the road" than I expected!) When I imagine what our life would have been like right now, I see a baby girl with her big brothers doting on her. I see pink clothing and little hair bows (even though I can't do hair!). I hear her "oohing and ahhhing" over the Christmas tree lights. This would have been her first Christmas, and I can feel the excitement of celebrating the season with a new babe in the house.

I know God has his reasons for keeping our child with Him and that he or she is so blessed to be in His presence right now. But I still long for what might have been.